ME VS. ME

Similar to so many others, I've made a place for meditation in my life. It's something that is so natural to dismiss... it's just sitting and thinking. Or even less productive than that. It's sitting and NOT thinking. It's simple to disregard. I did for decades. 

We all meditate though. That internal dialogue that makes up your thoughts and manifests action... you can control those. I thought this was a borderline insane concept, until it worked. For me, It started with minor shifts and the ability to simply take inventory.

When I quit life and really took the time to get clear on who I was, I discovered just how mean that person inside of my head was. I would never allow someone else to treat me so poorly. Why was I allowed to be so mean? My ego had taken over and was running my life. It constantly reminded me of my mistakes and played into my faults. It was in control. 

Noticing how I was talking to myself was the key.

"Change the subject."
"That is not true."
"Be nice."

I found these phrases useful in combat and I started to personify this mean voice. I was able to separate it from me. And because I knew it wasn't just going to go away, I befriended it. I let my ego boast when it did something well, held compassion for it when it was being naughty and taught it to exist without malicious intent. This is not unlike what you would do with a small child.

It took a long time. I really wish I could list out "ten things to become one with your inner dialogue", but it's really more complex and personal than that. Though, I do think it is a valient and life changing endeavor. 

My biggest breakthrough was when I realized that I had created a friendship. I became a friend to myself. Simple and profound. It forced me to become clear on how I felt in different situations. I was intentional. It's shocking how many things we do because we all think it's fun, but are really just acting for other people. I learned the power of no and cut out doing the things that felt strictly obligatory. My life changed. This is when I found happiness. I found myself being more authentic. I also found that I was kinder to other people. More compassionate on the whole... something that is needed from all us more than ever. 

 
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Hey! I'm Blair.

This is my home for manifesting dreams & sourcing culture.

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San Francisco life + style blog rooted in authentic conversations and intention setting. A space celebrating community, honesty and growth. Feelings. Food. Events. SF.