When I was a kid I envisioned a certain life for myself. It was never very detailed, almost dreamlike in quality. I had visions of who I wanted to be. Little did I know that I was really just seeing the future.
A passion for dance took me to the desert. I lived in Arizona for just under seven years. The memories from my time there are diverse and totally riddled with mistake. It was a time where I explored my art, figured out how to party and was forced to learn that people on this planet have different colors of morality. I lost myself out there in the desert and I was forced to find my way back home.
The fourth of July fell in a way that I was able to take a week off of work and come home to Northern California. I stayed with my best friend for a few days in San Francisco and then transferred over to my cousin's cute new apartment across town. They were both working, so I had time and the city to myself. It was special and I fell in love. Hard and deep love. My parents, who desperately wanted me closer to home, leaned in and helped me make it happen. My dad and I drank way too many beers at the Nordstrom restaurant, talking it out. What was keeping me in Arizona? What did I really want in this life? We call him "The Cleaner" for a reason.
I flew back to Arizona and broke up with a boyfriend, packed up my stuff from our house (with a lot of help from my sister), quit my job and drove home. My dad even flew out to drive the eighteen hours back with me. The last thing I said to the boyfriend was: "I want to live in a studio with crown-moulding, walk to work and not have a car." This was so far from the life I was currently living.
It took me a bit to find my place in San Francisco. The craigslist game is real and I resorted to drinking wine midday before going to meet potential new roommates. Soon though, I landed in a two bedroom spot on Bush Street in Lower Nob Hill. My roommate was a raw vegan nutritionist, life coach and professional dancer. I had arrived. Said roommate and I lived there for a year and she moved out to start a life in Costa Rica. I had a few rounds of sublet roommates, all now close friends, before our landlord caught on and we had to move out. That's another story all together.
Finally, I landed in this beautifully perfect apartment. In all honesty, it's way too expensive and it is so loud at night that I had to buy an expensive sound machine so I could sleep. But it's home. The life I have built here in this space is exactly what I've envisioned. Living in such a small space has really forced me to be careful about what I bring into it. Also, this is the first place where I finally have all of my favorite things with me. Things I had been "saving" for my real home. It feels so good.
Living alone in this city is just a chapter. However, it is one that I am so in love with. I talk to my plants, my kitchen has become my sanctuary and my bathtub has claws. The greatest of all though, I live in a studio with crown-moulding, walk to work and don't have a car.
Decorating and making this space my own is ever evolving. This is my place to document that.